When Doves Cry
by pulling-the-puzzles-apart
Summary: AU - When Kurt moves in with his boyfriend James he finds he can easily see through to the apartment opposite which houses the struggling singer Blaine Anderson. A friendship ensues which proves to be Kurt's saving grace when his life starts to unravel.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: Hello my lovely readers – hope you have a merry Christmas or holiday over the winter period. I'm starting this new WIP which will be dark and sad in places (I'll warn when necessary) but will definitely have a happy Klaine ending (is there any other type?!) and is nowhere near as sad as previous stories I have written! I hope to update weekly.

* * *

"Tell me again why we decided to move in together when we're both working like crazy?" Kurt said as he lugged yet another box to his new apartment. New was the wrong word, Kurt thought, as he plonked the box down near the doorway and stared around the open space. The living room area was relatively large, much smaller than the space he had shared with Rachel but just as old and dilapidated. It would need a serious lick of paint, Kurt mused as he continued to envisage what he would do to the place once they had moved in properly. James bumped Kurt along with the next box, kicking his heel in the process.

"Come on Kurt, we haven't got all day," he said grumpily, deliberately moving into Kurt's space to make his point. "We need to get all these boxes in." Kurt rubbed at his injured heel but thought better of the comment on the tip of his tongue. He closed his mouth and went back to get another box. It wasn't worth the argument it would cause and surely James didn't mean to hurt him.

They finished taking up the boxes in silence, the only sounds a few pained grunts as they lifted and dropped, lifted and dropped. Eventually all the boxes were cleared from the van they had hired and they could peruse the place properly.

"It looks less impressive now, when all our boxes are here," James said as he walked around. The large windows had shone streams of light into the apartment but now the boxes cast shadows on the floor and it became more closed and oppressive - the darkness of the city that Kurt loved. Five years in New York hadn't changed his opinion of the city he had dreamed of as a teenager. He loved its darkness but also craved the limelight and continued to work tirelessly to achieve it. His dreams hadn't diminished but he was happy where he was, off-Broadway shows gave him time to perfect his craft and watching the whole process of a production including its desperate rise to fame, made Kurt's skin tingle with anticipation and longing. He strove to be successful and always tried his best to be the best version of himself. In many ways looking around this apartment that he would now share with his boyfriend James, made him think of how successful they now were. The struggles had been worth it, he was where he wanted to be.

James continued to wander around the apartment, inspecting the walls with a critical eye. He eventually stopped by the window, the light hitting his blonde hair, styled to perfection. His upturned nose and perfectly trimmed stubble made him look so gorgeous that Kurt momentarily thought he was the luckiest guy in the world to be with someone that looked that perfect. James could have come straight out of a magazine and he had modelled for a while but that had only given him the step he needed to push his life into Broadway. He had always sung and danced in competitions and having that quality that they wanted, his lucky break was his first audition. James had never needed to struggle, never been turned down and he never understood why Kurt didn't achieve more, become better. It was a bone of contention, a source of many an argument and Kurt no longer had any fight left. He just wanted to do his best.

"I'll make coffee," Kurt suddenly said as the light shone on James, highlighting the shine of his pristine facial features and blonde hair. He really was gorgeous in those black skinny jeans and loose green tee and Kurt smiled that he was the only one to see what was underneath. James grinned by the window at the sound of the word 'coffee'.

"My angel," James said dramatically, his mood swiftly changing from the grumpiness of earlier. He waved his arm in the air and practically skipped to Kurt, wrapping an arm around his waist so he couldn't move.

"I can't make coffee like this," Kurt moaned with a giggle to his voice, trying to wiggle away slightly.

James loosened his grip so Kurt could set up the coffee machine. He unpacked two mugs, got out the coffee as Kurt switched on the machine and it whirred to life causing another smile to grace James' face.

Kurt laughed. "I knew all it would take was a cup of coffee," he said, "You're so predictable."

"That and food," James said, "I'm never allowed any food."

"The price of Broadway," Kurt said shrugging his shoulder and secretly glad he didn't have that pressure.

"It's ok for you, your mom gave you fabulous genes," James said a little moodily.

"Hey," Kurt said indignantly, "I have to work hard for this figure and you know it."

James nodded begrudgingly. Kurt eventually handed him a coffee and James walked to the largest window.

"It is quite a view," James said sipping the black coffee and closing his eyes in pleasure.

"Are you glad we're here?" Kurt asked tentatively as he came to stand by his side.

"Oh of course," James said looking at Kurt with wider eyes in surprise. "It's not the best apartment we could have got but it's ours and I'm sure you'll be able to work your magic and make it home."

Kurt smiled at the compliment but knew he meant it as a way of getting out of any serious decorating. That would be Kurt's job.

Kurt looked out for what felt the longest time, the world carrying on beneath them. It would soon be time for James to go to the theatre, prepare for his Broadway performance that evening, have an early supper and get into role.

"Are you happy James?"

The question was whispered, taking James from his reverie. He looked at Kurt in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked, "Aren't you?"

Kurt turned to face James and smiled. "Of course I am, I just worry sometimes that you're not really happy."

James looked out at the world below again, pondering the question a little too long, causing Kurt to feel uneasy.

"I guess I never think too much about that question," he said, "I'm as happy as the next person and I have you for the rest." He smiled at Kurt, his eyes a twinkling blue and Kurt relaxed.

James was never one to show too much - never ecstatic, never gleeful - but he could be cross, could be so angry that his whole body would change, all rigid lines and steam. Kurt was just glad he was mainly content with their situation.

"Would you mind unpacking our things?" James said as he finished his coffee and placed the dirty mug by the sink. He started to walk to the bedroom to grab his stuff and carried on the conversation around the apartment, getting louder the further he got from Kurt. "I would stay to help but I have to get to the theatre early. Ernie said something about lighting before I left last night and I said I'd help."

Kurt suspected there was no such conversation at the theatre but he let it slide. "Sure," Kurt said, "I'll unpack."

"Thanks, you're a star," James said smiling and leaving Kurt with just a peck on his cheek as he grabbed his new key and closed the door.

* * *

"Blaine!" Tessa shouted as soon as she entered the coffee shop. She didn't believe in looking around and trying to find someone first and as she hoped, Blaine alerted her to his presence and waved her over from where he sat in the corner. He passed her the latte he had ordered for her and she sat down with aplomb. Flushed cheeks, shining eyes and her short hair in styled spikes she managed to look composed now as she took her coffee greedily.

"I thought I'd never get here," she said breathily, "Thanks for the coffee chuck."

"Right, let's discuss the playlist," Blaine said, sitting up straighter as soon as she had taken a few sips of coffee.

"Woah, someone's eager," she said.

"We have to get this right Tess, I don't know this crowd as well as you," Blaine said.

"Fine, fine," she said, placing her coffee next to her, "What are your suggestions?"

"I thought we'd open with 'Teenage Dream' then proceed onto 'Baby Hit Me One More Time', maybe close with some classic Kelly Clarkson?"

"You and your obsession with female singers," she said shaking her head, "Don't make your set too good. I have to open for you and I don't want people to think I'm just the appetiser."

"Oh but you are," he said jovially, "You could always sing backup for me."

She gave him her bitchiest stare and he laughed loudly. He pretended to surrender, holding his hands up.

"Are you getting there earlier? You might want to warm up the crowd first, chat to a few people. It's always good to get them on your side."

Blaine nodded happily. "I love my job," he said, "We get to drink and sing and play the piano and live in this fantastic city."

"Yeah it's great," she said sarcastically looking through her purse for non-existent money. "So great that I have no money for a second coffee."

"Hey, don't worry, the next is on me too," he said, happily giving her a note.

"You have money?" she said a little surprised.

"Yeah, they gave it up front for tonight and I already paid my rent," he said smiling widely. "Told you, we have the greatest job."

"Well sometimes I agree with you," she said, "When I have to ask mummy dearest for another loan to pay my rent, I don't think it's so cushty."

"Where do you get all these British phrases from?" Blaine said laughing.

"My roomie now is British," Tessa said, "Her name's Ruby and she's hilarious."

"When did Jake move out?"

"Last week but you know how it is, there's always someone to replace you in this city that never sleeps. Ruby is tidy at least."

"I'll pop round to warn her of your bad habits," Blaine joked.

"Don't you dare!" she exclaimed, "She'll find out in good time."

Blaine laughed.

"You don't want to get a roommate?" she asked.

"No way," Blaine said, "Well, not as long as I can help it. I'd better get back, practice a few songs on my dilapidated piano." He stood up and smiled ruefully. "See you tonight?"

"You bet," she said, "You'll knock 'em dead and I'll become your roadie and we'll live happily ever after." She winked and Blaine laughed.

"We tried that in high school remember?" Blaine smirked, "I seem to remember I liked it when I was drunk at the time but not so much in the light of day."

"Ok, ok," she said with pretend annoyance, "I know I don't look good in the morning, that was a low jibe."  
"You're cute," he said in an effort to placate her and he bent down to kiss her on the nose. "But I'm a perfect gold star gay now."

"Well if you ever change your mind…" she said with another wink.

"I know where to find my best friend," he said, repeating a phrase they said often. "See you later, beautiful."

"You say that to all the girls," she pouted.

"Only the best and when it's true," he laughed and finished his coffee, placing it quickly on their table, leaving Tessa with some money for her next coffee.

"See you tonight," he called from the door and she waved her goodbye, glad that she still knew Blaine, even after all these years.

* * *

Kurt practically fell onto the sofa clutching his tea and sighed loudly. His back and arms ached already and he knew he would be in pain during rehearsals the following day. It was late, the curtain-less windows revealing only blackness with the occasional strip of light from the street lighting below. He had managed to unpack everything though his closet would need to be rearranged tomorrow by colour. James hadn't yet returned from his performance though that wasn't unusual. He often went out for drinks and late night parties after a performance, sometimes not returning until the early hours of the morning, knowing full well he could sleep-in during the morning. Kurt was used to this and wasn't surprised. He was tired though and he felt along his sore muscles in his neck already suspecting that he would be too tired to actually sleep. He looked around at the apartment he now rented with his boyfriend of two years and admired his handiwork. Gone was the feeling of happiness that he had made it, now he just felt alone.

As much as Rachel had been annoying to live with he couldn't help but think now of how much he missed her noise: practicing scales in the bathroom, singing in the kitchen, twirling in the living room, dancing along to musical films by the sofa, all filled Kurt with happiness. He was free, with Rachel, to be silly and enjoy life and it was only just now that he realised he was now required to be a grown-up. He had moved in with his boyfriend, rented a place where responsibilities would need to be taken seriously if they were to keep up all the bills and he suddenly wanted to dance and sing loudly. He knew James wouldn't approve, would think he was silly, but he didn't care. He chose an upbeat song on his iPod and slotted it into his speaker in his bedroom and danced like there was no tomorrow.

_It's all over like steps in the first snow_

_Something's been building up and it's gonna blow_

_My momma called me last night, she said when nothing else fits_

_Pick up the pieces and move on_

_I see the flashing red lights, just can't make sense of the bits _

_It's like my mind is gone_

_I got ... got to get ..._

_Get my head back on_

_I got ... got to get ..._

_Myself together_

_When this hurt is gone_

_I got ... got to get ..._

_Myself together_

Kurt circled his hips, lifted his arms and closed his eyes, completely free and not caring at all. He loved dancing like this and he realised that he hadn't done this in so long, never in front of James, who was always so perfect that it made him freer now. This was his only chance.

_I got ... got to get ..._

_Can't tell what's going wrong_

_I wish that something could be done_

_Knock that cover_

_When this hurt is gone_

_I got ... got to get ..._

_Myself together_

The song finished and he still rocked his hips slowly as he walked over to the speaker to change the song when he realised he had an audience. He looked up sharply at the guy across the way and stood still waiting for a reaction. The guy was gorgeous, even across the apartments Kurt could see that, the guy's hair dark and gelled down though a few curls had sprung loose at the nape of his neck. He was dressed in the tightest dark jeans with a mustard bowtie, now loose at the collar. As he realised Kurt had spotted him, he smiled widely, did a quick imitation of Kurt's best move and waved happily. Kurt felt the blush rise from his neck and across his cheeks but he waved back and that was it. The guy across the way closed his curtains and Kurt realised he had been standing there like a creeper and he went to the bathroom to start his evening routine. He had no idea when James would return and he may as well go to bed without him.

As he changed he realised he could see into that guy's apartment, just like he could see through his; their bathrooms and bedroom being opposite. Kurt hadn't put up curtains in any of the rooms yet and so he changed quickly and went to brush his teeth.

Kurt wasmoisturising in rhythmic circular patterns along his cheeks in the bathroom when he realised both windows were open slightly and he could hear someone singing though it was faint. He looked across to find the same guy, moisturising his own face with a faint smile on his face and singing softly. The windows were so close together that Kurt could make out he was singing a Katy Perry song and Kurt smiled as he recognised the words.

_You think I'm pretty_

_Without any makeup on_

_You think I'm funny_

_When I tell the punch line wrong_

_I know you get me_

_So I let my walls come down, down_

The guy seemed to sense he was being watched and he glanced over at Kurt by the window and beamed again, waving in greeting and as he finished he clearly mouthed 'goodnight'. Kurt, a little surprised, just waved back and the guy switched off the light, swamping his apartment in darkness, making Kurt realize he was alone once more.

* * *

**A/N**: Let me know what you think! For all those non-British folk out there, cushty is slang for something good or awesome.

**Songs quoted**:

'Get Myself Together' by Robyn

'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Thanks for the interest and reviews so far :) Here's another chapter to hopefully make you want to read more! It flits from Blaine's POV to Kurt's quite frequently so hope it makes sense.

**Warning**: Slight domestic violence.

* * *

Blaine was always up early. He would normally finish at a bar about one o'clock in the morning but song ideas, or just the thought of a new day, would ensure he was up by eight o'clock. Sometimes he would go for a run in a park or just potter around his apartment, tinkling on his old piano but he would often stay in his pyjamas until about midday and write. He often got gigs helping musician friends who needed someone to play piano whilst they sang. He could play nearly any common instrument and he thrived on knowing his craft so well that any of his friends could rely on him to pick up a song quickly when asked to help. Today was wide open though and he was up with a skip in his step even before he had his morning coffee.

It was another matter for Kurt who rolled out of bed with a groan and he wondered why it felt like he'd aged twenty years in the space of a single night. He wore only pyjama bottoms and padded slowly to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine. One quick glance around the apartment told Kurt that James hadn't appeared yet and although it had happened once or twice before, Kurt was a little surprised that on their first night in their new apartment, James hadn't come home.

Home. Such a loaded word, a word that made Kurt instantly think of his dad in Lima. New York was Kurt's place, somewhere he truly belonged but 'home', a place he could relax and just be, he hadn't found just yet and he briefly wondered if this place would ever feel like home. He swallowed the disappointment and sipped his coffee in his bedroom, tucked back in his bed and wondered if James would return at all before another performance that night.

Whilst sipping he glanced through his window to the apartment opposite and noticed the curtains were already open and revealed the same guy from yesterday, his hair completely devoid of any gel, causing his dark springy curls to be completely free. Kurt briefly wondered what it might feel like to run his hands through such curls and he shook his head at himself and the unbidden thoughts. James never allowed him to touch his hair during sex, too afraid of ruining his perfect style. Kurt always thought it was such a pity.

The guy in the apartment opposite clearly didn't realise he had an audience and Kurt watched openly as the guy walked about in his navy blue pyjamas, almost a skip in his step. He appeared to be whistling to himself as he walked to his piano, carrying a steaming mug of coffee and sitting down. Kurt realised his own bedroom was slightly smaller than the guy opposite who seemed to be able to pack everything into his bedroom, including an old piano. Blaine tinkled, completely oblivious to being watched and Kurt saw him occasionally scribble down something on paper as he sang and played. Kurt wanted to hear what he was playing but knew he would draw attention to himself if he got up and opened the window. So he watched until the guy with the dark hair seemed to finish the song and started to play on his phone. It clearly started to ring and upon seeing the caller ID, his face lit up.

* * *

"Wha's uuuuuuup?" Tessa sang down the phone and Blaine laughed once more.

"I love that you're just as chirpy as me this early," Blaine said happily, "What can I do for you this fine morning?"

"You can meet me later at the corner of 44th street and 7th Avenue; by the park," she said excitedly, "Sam is singing at the King's Hotel tonight and needs someone to help with piano playing if you're up for it?"

"Yeah that'll be great," Blaine said happily, "Why isn't he ringing though?"

"I think he's trying to borrow a guitar, his one has a few broken strings after a drunken escapade last week. He can't afford to have it fixed."

"Has he tried Ed? He might have one."

"I don't know, I said I'd ring him back," she said, "See you at the park at 6 for an early supper?"

"Sure thing," he said happily, "An early supper?"

"Blame Ruby," she said and then Blaine presumed she was talking to said Ruby as whispered mutterings were heard on the other end. "Who can't wait to meet you apparently," Tessa continued sounding confused.

"Erm…"

"Don't worry," Tess said, "I'll fill her in." She giggled and hung up, leaving Blaine imagining the conversation that Tessa was having right now. Blaine stood, his eyes flitting to the apartment opposite where the guy from yesterday was finishing getting changed. He briefly noticed his defined torso before the guy put on his shirt and did it up super quickly, clearly worried about his lack of curtains. Blaine secretly hoped, with the view ahead of him, that the guy would never get curtains.

Blaine looked through the window for a while as the guy flitted in and out of the bathroom and bedroom, wondering what the guy did for a living if he was still in his apartment at 10 o'clock in the morning. Blaine was just considering getting another coffee and changing into actual clothes when someone must have entered the apartment opposite because the demeanour of the guy immediately changed. His back seemed to stiffen and his jaw set as if he was expecting an argument. Another guy entered wearing tight black jeans, a screwed up green T and his hair a mess. Blaine was close enough but he could definitely tell this guy had been out all night. The guy with chestnut coiffed hair and nice blue eyes was clearly not impressed.

* * *

"Where have you been?" Kurt shouted, "I was worried about you. You never answered my text messages."

"Just leave it Kurt," James said clearly pained at the volume Kurt was using. He struggled to the bed, head in hands as if it was just an effort to hold it all together. He was pale, his hair a mix of flattened patches and stuck up parts and his eyes were sunken with tiredness. He reeked.

Kurt pulled a face. "Where have you been all night?" he said, "You smell like a brewery."

"Things got a little out of hand," James said weakly, his head still bowed. "The drinks kept coming."

"Where did you stay?" Kurt asked, "You didn't think to call to let me know you were safe?"

"I don't have to answer to you," James said angrily, still avoiding Kurt's gaze.

Kurt seethed. "That's it with you, isn't it?" he spat. "You have fun, drink yourself to oblivion and don't care about me waiting for you at home. You don't even think of me, do you? And on our first night together in our new place." Kurt couldn't say 'home'; it already would seem like a lie.

"I asked you to drop it," James said, his voice clipped as he desperately tried to keep the anger in. Kurt didn't notice and kept going.

"If you want out of this relationship James, just let me know," Kurt continued, his body now hovering over James in his determination to be heard. "If you don't want a grown up relationship that's fine with me, nothing's final, we can go our separate ways, I don't mind."

"Just stop Kurt," James said his neck tense with the pressure to keep it together, "Just shut up!" He shouted, his hands coming out forcibly in fists on his own knees.

"What did you just say to me?" Kurt said quietly and James stood up despite the dizziness and the rising need to be sick.

"I asked you to drop it," James said, "I asked you to stop and I asked you to SHUT UP!"

There was a pause as Kurt digested what had been said to him and he looked shaken but now that James had the floor he continued.

"No wonder I don't want to come home to you," James said sneering, "You're such a nag! If I wanted to be with a middle aged woman I would be straight!"

Blaine was shocked at what he was witnessing but at the same time he couldn't tear his eyes away. He instinctively wanted to grab the guy he had been admiring through the window earlier and take him away somewhere safe, away from this angry guy who had disturbed the peace. The guy's boyfriend, Blaine presumed, shouted some more and Blaine thought he could almost see the steam come out of his ears. The angry guy stormed off to the en suite and chestnut-haired guy obviously tried to placate him, pull the situation back together again, anything to keep the peace. He gently touched angry guy's elbow as he prepared to enter the bathroom but it was just too much for the guy who must have seen it as another form of control. He flinched from the touch as if blue-eyed guy's fingers could burn and he threw his hand away, finally pushing him so there was now over a metre between them.

Blaine went forward nearer the window on instinct, determined to help the guy in some way but not knowing how when panes of glass and brick were between them. The guy opposite took an extra step back, his eyes wide, his hand instinctively rubbing the bruise that was forming on his upper arm. Angry guy slammed the bathroom door and left the other guy in the bedroom.

He seemed to freeze for a moment and as Blaine wondered if there was someway of passing on a message, maybe help him somehow, the blue-eyed guy turned round slowly, almost as if he guessed he might have had an audience the entire time. The guy's eyes were sad as soon as he saw Blaine, as if he wanted to apologise for letting him witness such an argument. There was a moment where nothing was said, faces were frozen in sadness, until Blaine gestured with his hands: 'are you ok?'

Kurt understood and considered just nodding with fake happiness, try to cover the embarrassment and make out it was nothing serious but something stopped him. He shook his head slowly and Blaine's heart broke a little at the sight. He looked so perfect in his sadness, so innocent, that Blaine immediately wanted to grab angry guy by the neck for making someone beautiful, so sad. Blaine tried to gesture if he could help but Kurt just looked confused so he madly glanced around the room until he obviously saw what he needed. Kurt saw him pick up the paper on top of the piano and scribble furiously. He held it up to the window, a smile on his face.

_**Hello, my name is Blaine.**_

Kurt smiled and found some paper of his own.

_**Hello Blaine. My name is Kurt.**_

Blaine scribbled again, this time holding it up with trepidation.

_**Boyfriend? **_

Kurt nodded, sadly brought back to the situation Blaine must have witnessed. He wrote on the card again and held it up for Blaine to read.

_**Yes, James. Sorry about that, he isn't normally like that.**_

Blaine shrugged slightly, trying to give the impression that he wasn't there to judge or pass comment. Kurt hated the awkwardness. This stranger already knew far more about Kurt's life than his family and his closest friends. He glanced at his watch and gestured at the door. He had to be at rehearsal and he could leave early, anything to be far away from James when he left the shower. Blaine nodded in understanding and waved sadly, already giving Kurt the impression that he wanted to say so much more. Kurt quickly grabbed his jacket and left the apartment and Blaine continued planning his day, gazing every so often into the apartment opposite.


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine was so curious about what James was doing in the apartment opposite that he was nearly late to meet Tessa for an early dinner. He watched curiously as James picked up the remains of Kurt's conversation with Blaine on the bed and looked at it in confusion. He glanced at Blaine's apartment window where Blaine suddenly pretended to be busy and then James seemed to carry on with his day. He made a few phone calls but it was only when the afternoon was wearing onwards and Blaine was thinking about finishing the song he had written earlier that James decided to madly dash about the bedroom. He popped out for groceries and when he returned Blaine spotted him bringing in various objects into the bedroom: a big bouquet of flowers, petals spread across the bed haphazardly as well as candles dotted on surfaces. Blaine realised as he watched on that James was creating the perfect apology dinner date. He briefly wondered how Kurt would take it all, secretly hoping he wouldn't forgive easily, and then Kurt returned.

* * *

Kurt smelt the dinner first, his favourite home cooked meal and he noticed the tray of baby cupcakes standing on the side in the kitchen where James was donning an apron to finish off the dinner. He wanted to smile at the effort but he was still mad. James turned round.

"You're here," he said, instantly rushing to Kurt to remove his coat and satchel. "Put your feet up and I'll bring you a drink."

James brought over a glass of wine while Kurt sat down, watching carefully, not saying a word.

"How was your day?" James asked as if nothing had happened this morning. Kurt decided to play along for now.

"It was ok," Kurt said, "We rehearsed the main number at least twenty times and someone from costume had an argument with a guy that does hair. Another day really."

"You really should try and get out of that role, audition for Broadway." James was still cooking, his back turned so that he couldn't see Kurt's eyes roll. The same old conversation.

"Not this again," Kurt said and James instantly turned around in slight panic.

"No, not this again," he said, "I just want you to think about all your options. You're so much better than all of them Kurt."

"That may be," Kurt said, enjoying the praise for once, "But I like working there, building a project from scratch like that and seeing it grow. The fight to get it in a theatre, the desperation to try to bring it to Broadway: it makes you want it more; it makes you see the good in the production. I believe in it wholeheartedly."

James watched Kurt who spoke about it all with such enthusiasm, his eyes lit up and James couldn't dissuade him of its merit.

"Talking of Broadway aren't you going to be late?"

"Jake is going on tonight," James said casually but Kurt was instantly up out of his seat.

"What? Why did you do that?" Kurt exclaimed, "You'll get into trouble."

"No I won't, I called in sick," James said matter-of-factly. "I did it for you, I wanted to spend the evening with my boyfriend." He looked a little smug, like he was expecting a pat on the back.

"You didn't have to do that," Kurt said with tiredness in his voice. He came closer into the kitchen and James twirled to face him fully, a little sauce on his cheek which Kurt removed deftly with his thumb. Kurt smiled with affection and James gripped his arms as if he might fly away and he had to keep Kurt still.

"I shouldn't have shouted this morning, I was angry and really hung over," James said, "I don't even remember half of what happened last night and you know what I get like when I'm ill." Kurt nodded. He did know. "I'm making this dinner to make up for being absent last night, this will be our first proper evening in our new place. Let me do this." James was pleading silently with his eyes, waiting for the right answer, hoping. Kurt couldn't let him down.

Kurt nodded and his lips curved into a smile, letting James know he was forgiven. He started to set the table while James continued and it was only when he started to pour the wine that he realised James had never apologised.

* * *

"So Ruby knows I'm gay right?" Blaine whispered in Tessa's ear as the British roommate went to the toilet. Tessa smirked.

"Yes, I explained that you're waiting for the 'right guy' just like she is," Tessa said, "You should have seen the look of disappointment on her face."

She was messing with him but it still took a beat of silence for Blaine to realise, his eyes suddenly crinkling with 'I've been caught' and she laughed in earnest.

"Not every straight girl is after you, just me," she finished, looping her arm inside Blaine's, cosying up and resting her cheek on his shoulder. It was a dance they had done for a long time. Whenever Tess or Blaine were single they relied on the other for comfort and affection. It was always so easy to give and receive and this was a rare occasion when they were both single. Hugs and gentle touches were common, spreading warmth and easy affection, kisses on cheeks that lingered a little too long but always just on the line between affection and 'taking it further'. It was comforting and neither really thought about what it meant, just quietly accepting.

Sam came back from the bar, having finished his set and spending most of his time talking to the owner. He laughed at the warm cosy sight in front of him and sat down.

"I never really understand why you don't just hook up," Sam said, his eyes full of lightness and mirth, his comment causing their arms to disengage and the stiffness in Blaine's back to return.

"I'm too good for Blaine, he's not in my league," Tessa joked, the comment hiding a real sense of awkward as she placed her hand on her own knee. Blaine knew what she was saying and why, so placed his own hand on top of hers, squeezing with affection and smiling.

"Not at all," he said, "I just prefer dick." There was a beat of silence, Blaine's face so deadpan, then the table erupted in laughter as Ruby returned.

"What did I miss?" Ruby asked and they were too far gone to reply coherently. She shrugged and gave up, sitting down and sipping her drink. "Where are we off to now then?" she said instead, "The night's still young."

"I don't know," Blaine said, chancing a glance at his watch, "I should probably be getting back."

"Someone pressing to go back to?" Sam asked, a chuckle on his lips but then Blaine's face fell serious and he shook his head.

"There is a new couple that have moved across from me though, in the apartment opposite," Blaine said thinking, his eyes suddenly unseeing, the first time he had thought of Kurt all evening. Sam raised an eyebrow.

"You've been peering in?"

"No, no," Blaine said, returning to the room, "They just haven't bought curtains or blinds and I can see right through. I didn't mean to."

"Yeah right, you big stalker," Tess joked.

"No, no it's not like that," Blaine said seriously, his eyes wide in order to convince them. "I caught him dancing and he spotted me singing in the bathroom last night but then this morning his boyfriend returned."

"Oh?" Ruby said, pressing closer, intrigued and no one thought anything of it. She was suddenly part of the group too and only Tessa briefly thought how quickly she had managed it.

"Yeah, he was a little off, clearly hungover and they shouted for a while then he pushed Kurt backwards," Blaine said.

"Kurt?" Tessa said.

"Yeah, he wrote his name on card, we introduced ourselves," Blaine said, "I wanted to check he was ok."

Sam nodded. "Be careful Blaine, you don't want to get involved in any domestic fights, you don't know this guy."

Blaine didn't say what was on the tip of his tongue. He _did_ feel like he knew him. He recognised parts of himself in the guy in the apartment opposite and he intrigued him. He gave a tight smile then shook his head. The conversation was over.

"Yeah you're probably right," Blaine said laughing, "I'll head back though.' He stood and kissed Tess and Ruby on the cheek, hugging Sam as they bopped shoulders. "See you tomorrow at Tony's?" Sam and Tessa nodded, Ruby looking thoughtful until she jogged to catch Blaine up by the door.

"Blaine," she said, catching his elbow, causing him to turn in surprise. "If this Kurt is being abused, even emotionally, make sure you help," she said and Blaine was taken aback. "I know how alone you can feel when something like that happens." She revealed nothing else and Blaine stood silently. "He won't want to tell anyone he knows, he won't want to disappoint people or seek help."

He nodded solemnly, taking the advice seriously and she took his acceptance, happy that he understood. She turned to go back to Tess and Sam until Blaine gently touched her shoulder.

"Ruby are you ok?"

Her eyes softened and she nodded. "I am now Blaine, thanks."

She said nothing else and Blaine stood by the door for a moment, thinking about what her past could possibly have dealt her. He walked home enjoying the chill, his coat brought in closer and his scarf trapping the heat by his neck.

As he came closer to his apartment, he looked up to see Kurt's bathroom light still on and travelling up to his apartment he wondered how James' apology dinner had gone. As he took off his jacket and placed it into his wardrobe he noticed Kurt and James still hadn't purchased curtains and his question of earlier was suddenly answered.

It was only just light enough, shimmers of candlelight, for Blaine to see shapes of bodies and shaky movements but it took only a few seconds for him to realise what he was inadvertently watching. They were making up in the best way possible and Blaine felt instant sickness in the pit of his stomach that it hadn't been harder for Kurt to forgive. He felt sad that Kurt had let James come back in so easily then he remembered he hardly knew them, had only watched a fight, no other cosy interaction and didn't know their relationship at all. He blinked in shock as he realised what he was accidentally watching and he hastily closed his own curtains in disgust.

* * *

"You taste of icing," James murmured against the corner of Kurt's lips, licking the spot as if to chase the taste and Kurt giggled as James' fingers traced along the skin at his waist. Eventually when he was done teasing, James' fingers travelled lower to the soft warm skin of Kurt's inner thigh and Kurt mewled in pleasure, James knowing exactly what drove him crazy. He screwed his eyes shut and moaned loudly as James started to tease his hole.

"Fuck Kurt, the sounds you make," James moaned watching in awed fascination despite the number of times they had done this. He lubed his fingers and pushed in, stroking Kurt's cock with his other hand. Kurt was taking and taking, giving nothing back and after a while Kurt realised and tried to sit up slightly.

"Let me…" he started as if he wanted to take over, give something back but James gently pushed him so he lay again on his back.

"No Kurt, this is for you," James whispered, "Let me take care of you."

There was a gentleness in James' voice that Kurt hadn't heard in a while so he let him continue, thrusting now two fingers inside of him and stroking his cock gently, teasingly slowly. It wasn't enough and it soon had Kurt begging for more.

"What shall I do to you my pretty little boyfriend?" James whispered near his ear, "What do you want?"

Kurt didn't know. There was a vague feeling of grasping and searching at the back of his mind that he couldn't quite reach and didn't understand but he moaned loudly at the pleasure that James' talented fingers were causing. He wanted to feel something more but didn't know how to ask and finally settled for a fail-safe.

"Fuck me," Kurt moaned and James kneeled, slowly stroking Kurt's cock but removing his fingers from Kurt's hole. Kurt vaguely thought back to when he had called it 'making love' but shook his head against the feeling that this was never going to be that. They had been together two years now and it felt good, they knew how to make each other moan and come gloriously. No need for hyperbole and terms of endearment. Time was often of the essence and leading busy lives they would often fuck with perfunctory ease. James entered Kurt easily once lube had been applied and it was good and Kurt let the pressure build quickly, James thrusting hard and fast, no slow movements now, no slow enjoyment, only a rushing to orgasm and a race to finish. Kurt knew the signs that James was close, his face tight, his stomach muscles quivering and Kurt thrust his hips upwards in order to reach that moment at the same time. James no longer told Kurt when he was close and he soon came, hard and fast inside Kurt who chased that feeling a little before he too was being stroked quickly and shooting come over their stomachs.

James was quickly out, no lingering moment between them and Kurt winced as the feeling of emptiness returned. James was cleaning himself off in their bathroom, letting Kurt remain in his sticky mess and humming to himself. He seemed satisfied and Kurt was glad at least that they were back to how things were before.

"Who's Blaine by the way?" James asked from the bathroom and Kurt sat up quickly. He instantly knew the name but hadn't a clue how James knew it too.

"What?" Kurt said, pretending ignorance, biding his time.

"The card you left on the bed," James continued, "You were writing messages?"

"Oh that," Kurt said, trying to sound casual, glad that James couldn't see his face, "He's the guy from across the street, in the apartment opposite. He saw us earlier and introduced himself."

James came back into the room, the candlelight eerily silhouetting him, making him appear dark and ominous as he stood by the bathroom door.

"He saw us?" His voice was cold.

"Yeah," Kurt said, his voice wobbly, "He saw us fighting but I reassured him and there's no worries." He tried to sound upbeat, desperate to return things to normal, though he wasn't sure what that was anymore.

James nodded in the darkness then went back to the bathroom to fetch Kurt some tissues. He threw them lightly at Kurt's stomach as he returned to bed, blowing all the candles out on his way. Only darkness remained.

"It's a bit strange that someone should introduce themselves across the apartment," James said quietly, trying to gauge Kurt's own feeling about the subject. Kurt tried for lightness once again.

"Oh I don't think he meant anything by it," he said. "Just being friendly I suppose."

James nodded again and turned over so his back was now facing Kurt.

"Ok, goodnight then," he said, the slight warmth of earlier completely gone. James had gotten the forgiveness he had wanted, his hunger sated he went to sleep easily and Kurt lay there for a few hours, hearing the ticking of the clock in the darkness and wondering how he could possibly save a relationship that was slowly slipping out of his hands.


	4. Chapter 4

It started slowly but Kurt edged away and spent more time with his friends. After rehearsals that week he spent most evenings with Rachel and Santana knowing that James was out performing and probably wouldn't be back until later, if he returned at all.

"Do you miss us that much lady lips?" Santana said lovingly as she plopped herself into a perfect pose on their sofa. "You've been here every night this week, even when we're not in, which let's just say is completely crazy." She widened her eyes at Rachel as if to say 'beware the crazy'. Rachel smiled a little but turned her concerned face towards Kurt.

"Seriously Kurt, isn't James at home some nights?"

"Yeah he is after work, but he's normally so tired we barely talk and it's just nice to have some company," he said defensively, "But if you're going to be a bitch about it," he said, turning to eye Santana, "Then I can leave you in peace."

"No, no don't be silly," Rachel said quickly rubbing his shoulder to placate him, "We love having you here but maybe you need some hobbies or something for when James is out."

"New friends?" Santana quipped perfectly serious. Kurt rolled his eyes and mumbled thanks. "Or a new boyfriend that treats you right," she said and Kurt and Rachel sat a little further back as if to take her in a little better. Rachel gestured a cut-throat action to prevent her from continuing, but Santana stormed ahead.

"I mean I'm not saying anything you haven't noticed already Berry," Santana said, "He's hardly around and he's cold and horrible when he is. I suppose I can see the appeal, if you like skinny jeans and the Peter Pan look but he's a little skinny even for your tastes granny pants." She seemed to be talking to herself but she finally turned to Kurt as if she expected a perfect reply.

"San, we've been through this," he said tiredly, getting up to help himself to tea from the kitchen. He watched the kettle boil while he continued to speak. "I love James, we're just finding it hard at the moment. He's busy at night and I'm rehearsing during the day, we just have no time together. It'll improve soon."

"When?" Santana said, standing now so she could lean perfectly on their bookcase, facing Kurt's back. "Come on Kurt he's a loser, you deserve better."

"Santana!" Rachel nearly screeched, coming closer to join in on the action. "You can't say that."

"And why not? You said yourself, Kurt deserves better."

"So you've been discussing my private life behind my back?" Kurt said, turning to face them, his face one of hurt and anger.

"And why not? You're family, that's what family does," Santana said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Kurt it wasn't like that," Rachel tried to placate him. "We just worry about you."

"Well worry about yourself," he sneered, suddenly grabbing his jacket and walking to the door. "You two have no idea what maintaining a relationship involves outside of high school and when you join the grown up club of responsibility let me know." And he stormed out, leaving Santana and Rachel open-mouthed. They gave each other a look.

"Defensiveness," Santana said, looking not even a little worried, "The first sign of realising mistakes. It won't be long until they're apart. We just have to wait."

"Santana," Rachel said, sighing and walking back to the sofa sadly, "I really do worry about him. If we force him to stay away he'll have no one."

"That'll be _his_ issue, he'll come back when he knows we were right."

"Why do you think he's with him in the first place?" Rachel asked after a while.

"He likes the Peter Pan look?"

Rachel smiled and then shook her head.

"Do you sometimes get the impression that there's something more going on?" she asked and Santana raised an eyebrow in question. "You know, like how James goes from hot and cold, how he seems to love Kurt one minute then ignore him the next. One time I saw him look so angry at a bitchy comment you made that I thought he might have hit you if it hadn't been for Kurt changing the subject and letting it slide."

"He should know my comments by now, the bitch hides the love, you and Kurt always get it."

"Exactly but that was an overreaction wasn't it?" Rachel continued. "You don't think he might be violent towards Kurt?"

Santana looked a little shocked by the question, it never having crossed her mind and a steely expression took over her face.

"If he is then he better beware," she said, "No one messes with us."

And they vowed to be there for Kurt no matter what and especially if he didn't want them there.

* * *

Kurt should have known that once he started relying on people outside of James that it would look suspicious but he couldn't help it. It had been nice to spend so much time with Rachel again, warm company that he could relax with and chat about things he loved. It was easy affection and even with Santana there he had grown to love the bitchy comments and the fierce kind of love she displayed for others. He hadn't thought it was anything more than spending time with friends whilst his boyfriend was out but looking back he had been there too often, depending on them too much. He felt even more isolated as he let himself into his apartment and noticed that James hadn't yet returned from his performance.

Kurt hung up his jacket and made tea staring into the world outside his window and realising he had yet to get curtains that would afford them a little privacy. He took his tea into his bedroom with the idea that he might go to bed early but sitting up against the headboard after changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt he realised he wouldn't be going to sleep anytime soon. James wasn't really the problem, he was sure, it was just they didn't spend any time together any more. Kurt thought of ways they could have a date night soon or how he could make a special effort when he noticed a little light appear in the bedroom opposite. Blaine's bedroom.

He hadn't thought of Blaine much since the other day when he had introduced himself. James hadn't mentioned him either but Kurt knew he had been annoyed that someone had seen them fight and had become friends with Kurt, even over the way. It felt strange that he had a sort of friend that he didn't really know but already knew so much of his situation. Looking at him now, through the apartment window, he could see that Blaine had obviously just had a shower, his curls loosely wet and unstyled. He looked carefree and unblemished in his onesie, obviously ready for bed, and apart from the beat of music, Kurt couldn't hear anything else. Blaine was sorting himself to get to bed but as he was moving around the room he was moving to the music, which Kurt was starting to decipher as Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love'. Blaine suddenly stopped in the middle of his room and moved his ass like he just didn't care, twerking with fervour and Kurt burst out laughing. He couldn't help himself, he came closer to the window and watched as Blaine continued to twerk until he got to the end of the song. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kurt and he stopped abruptly, frozen to the spot.

Kurt felt instantly guilty that he had been watching him and he blushed as Blaine blushed but the thought that Blaine might close his curtains made him rethink his idea of returning to bed. He waved instead and twerked in return, making Blaine smile widely, embarrassment suddenly gone as he opened his window slightly and replayed the track. Blaine indicated that Kurt join him and although he felt a little silly to start, Blaine soon turned up the music which put Kurt at ease. They twerked away until they stopped amidst fits of giggles and breathlessly, Kurt clutched at his chest and indicated that Blaine needed to stop too. Blaine's grin was wide as he stopped the track.

Kurt couldn't remember the last time he had laughed that hard and he didn't want the conversation to end but didn't really know how to carry it on when Blaine was clearly getting ready for bed and James could return at any moment. Blaine seemed to understand as his breathing returned to normal and he looked around the empty space behind Kurt. He picked up the card he had used before and wrote quickly.

_**James at home?**_

Kurt shook his head. Blaine nodded in understanding and wrote again.

_**Fancy meeting properly for coffee tomorrow? **_

Kurt blinked. He had just twerked in front of this guy, Blaine had witnessed a domestic argument and he _had_ seemed to care, but the thought of meeting him was a little scary. He briefly wondered what James would think if he knew about it and then thought 'what the hell?' He nodded and smiled, causing Blaine to quickly scribble his number on the card, which Kurt instantly typed into his own phone. Kurt text Blaine to give him his number too and Blaine indicated he had received the message when he got the beep.

_It's Kurt :)_

_**Hi Kurt! What time are you free tomorrow?**_

_I rehearse until 2 tomorrow as it's an early start so I could meet you then?_

_**Sounds good, will James mind? **_

Kurt was taken aback. It was that obvious that James disapproved? He knew James would hate it, and Kurt would have to say he was meeting another friend for coffee, but as long as they managed to see each other before James performed in the evening, Kurt was sure it would be ok.

_Best not mention it, but it'll be fine._

Kurt could see that Blaine was a little concerned but he brushed it off and smiled.

_Gonna head to bed now, got an early start. Great twerking though ;)_

_**I've got fantastic competition now ;) Goodnight Kurt.**_

_Goodnight Blaine. _

There was a loud bang as the door was opened loudly and Kurt looked up in surprise. Blaine noticed too.

"Kurt?" James shouted as he entered the bedroom, "Oh there you are. Performance was shit, Claire forgot a line and the lights didn't go on my spotlight in time for the finale song, so I looked like a right douche. They're calling an emergency rehearsal tomorrow afternoon so I'll be out from about 2. Don't you just hate it when people let you down, like really make you look bad?" James sank in on himself, finally defeated and fed up and Kurt took pity. He came up and hugged him close.

"Oh that's better," James said smiling against Kurt's shoulder, his back to the window. Although Kurt thought their conversation was finished he could see Blaine through the window, not able to really decipher the expression on his face. He looked directly at Blaine, smiling as James clung closer and Blaine waved sadly and closed his curtains, leaving Kurt to be the dutiful and ever patient boyfriend.

* * *

**A/N**: Sorry it's short but I felt this was the best place to stop this chapter - I seem to be doing this a lot lately. Next chapter will be longer and they'll meet!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: Thank you to all the marvellous people that reviewed the last chapter. I really am grateful to every one of my readers and it makes my day when I get emails to let me know that you like my stories too :)

* * *

"Right from the top Kurt, that was perfect."

Kurt sighed. If it was so perfect why were they rehearsing it again? Kurt was tired and he ached, but he got into place and put on his perfect Broadway smile. The director was peering at the dancers, scrutinising every move and nuance of character to determine how the stage could be set, how to enhance the performance for an audience. Kurt was a mere prop and he knew it.

James had needed just a little more than affection from Kurt when he had returned to their apartment last night. As soon as the light was turned off and they slipped under the covers, Kurt had felt his hardness pressed against his lower back, a gentle nudge that caused Kurt to turn around.

"I thought you might be tired?" Kurt had asked but James had only smirked and come closer, almost like a wolf after its prey and nipped along Kurt's jaw with his mouth. He had taken out his frustrations of the evening performance on Kurt and pounded into him until the early hours, leaving Kurt chasing an orgasm that never arrived, despite James' obvious pleasure and his own climax. Kurt was physically sore now but he felt more than that as he performed the same number for the fifth time that day: weary.

"Patty and Kurt, we need to rehearse the scene where you realise your attraction for the same man, just as it leads into the song, can you do that?" The director didn't say cut or stop but the music ended and the chorus fell away, leaving the two leads in the middle of the rehearsal space. As the director, Anthony, turned his back to sit in his chair, Kurt rolled his eyes at Patty who smiled and quickly turned into her character, something Kurt always admired.

"I love him," Kurt said, nearly whispering as Patty went to turn away as if looking out the window. "I know you think I'm mad, but I love him nonetheless."

Patty, completely in character, turned slowly to face Kurt, or his character Edward, and smiled sadly.

"I don't think you're mad. I think you're wonderfully romantic and completely hopeless, but never mad."

She came closer, sadness written all over face, pity in her eyes.

"You think I don't stand a chance with him? You think he loves someone else? You?" Kurt showed Edward as if he wanted to be sassy and confident, but Kurt portrayed the naivety and the hope so well that the director was smiling.

"I think he loves who he wants to love and we would be lucky if he even smiles in our direction. Don't you see sometimes how the stars are reflected in his eyes, how they appear to glow and shine through him? How silly." Patty was moving around Kurt now, her body loose, her hand trailing behind her.

"I wonder sometimes if he's quite of this world."

The music started to play, softly, slowly and the chorus walked on as if to prepare for the next musical number but Anthony clapped loudly and Kurt and Patty switched, their characters falling away.

"Excellent, excellent," Anthony shouted. "Take five and we'll regroup to rehearse the scene after the song."

"Excellent, excellent," Patty whispered in Kurt's ear, in mockery of Anthony's optimistic tone. Kurt rested by the window, taking a sip of his water and smiled slightly.

"He is always that positive, isn't he?" Kurt said.

Patty nodded. "But you're not feeling the happy vibes today?"

Kurt hadn't known Patty for long. She had worked her way from the chorus on Broadway to bigger roles in smaller productions so Kurt had seen her around but this was the first time he had worked with her. The musical was new and exciting, touching ground that discussed sexuality in a whole different arena and it was exciting to be a part of it. Patty was quietly confident in her ability to wow audiences, especially with such a great part, and she knew the magic she could pull. It looked easy but Kurt knew it wasn't.

"Not particularly," Kurt said, sipping from his bottle again, "It was just a late night."

He gave nothing away. Patty was a friend, a work colleague but never someone he would confide in. She nodded, no apparent desire to know more or to dig out the truth.

"I wonder if something's about to change," she said mysteriously, just as she was about to return to her scene, their break apparently over. Kurt looked confused but he didn't have time before Anthony directed them to their new positions.

"When you're ready," Anthony said and Kurt rolled his shoulders before he started.

"Do you sometimes think that he plays with us?" Kurt, as Edward, said. Patty acted as if this was something she had already considered.

"I think perhaps he enjoys our affections," she said, channelling her character Isabelle. "Perhaps he has made his decision but wants to see how we act out our love. Perhaps he does not know himself."

Kurt appeared to think this over, giving Edward the air of someone intellectual and considered.

"I sometimes think that I would be quite prepared to live and breathe near him, never quite winning, never quite reaching the goal but in his presence nonetheless. Maybe there will be no winner." Kurt spoke his line as Edward, quietly romantic, as Patty stood still.

She paused for what seemed an age, so long in fact that Kurt wondered if she had forgotten her line but then she walked closer. Kurt could see the twirl of green in her warm brown eyes and she smiled sadly.

"Though I want to love him and have him for myself, I don't like to see anyone give up or let the darkness in. Sometimes a shadow wins."

Kurt was momentarily speechless as Patty walked away. She had maintained her character; delivered the line that Kurt had heard countless times before but there something else this time. Kurt had nothing left to say as Edward and Patty walked away, leaving Kurt hearing only the line that was relevant to his own life. Kurt had felt the shadow creep across his own life, almost as if his whole life was now in darkness but Patty knew, even if she didn't know the circumstance. As the director was talking again to Patty, giving direction and praising her performance, Kurt decided to take a step in the right direction, to get out of the shadow.

**To: Blaine [12.05]**

_Looking forward to coffee later to finally meet my window friend! How does 2.30 sound outside the coffee shop on our street?_

**To: Kurt [12.06]**

_Hey! That sounds great - looking forward to meeting my window friend too! See you then :)_

Kurt smiled. He knew James wouldn't approve, but slowly and surely he knew he needed more friends that weren't in his circle, that didn't disapprove of him or judge him. Blaine seemed happy, almost like a light despite the darkness that Kurt always saw him surrounded by, and maybe it would chase the shadow that Patty so rightly saw come closer.

* * *

Kurt hated being early but as he left his rehearsal just before 2 o'clock, he knew he would be standing outside the coffee shop for at least ten minutes before Blaine was due to arrive. He felt nervous tingles along the skin of his arms as he came closer and as Blaine wasn't outside he stopped and kept rising on the balls of his feet. Being early gave him time to think, let his mind wander and race to all possibilities and he hated it. He wrapped his arms around his torso in a bid to warm up his arms when the door opened behind him.

"I thought it was you," Blaine said happily as he grinned by the door. "I was early so I waited inside." He opened the door and Kurt followed as he walked to the counter. "I've left my jacket by the table in the corner if you want me to order coffee, you can sit down." He gestured to his table and Kurt nodded silently. He closed his eyes briefly as he walked. He was so nervous and he was letting it show. Blaine must think he was pathetic. But as he sat down and watched Blaine chatting to the barista, an easy conversation with laughter and joking, Kurt couldn't help but smile. This guy was charming to _everyone_. He had made feel Kurt comfortable in the most awkward of situations across the windows, had laughed and smiled brightly at conversations between them when Kurt had just wanted to hide away from the world. Blaine was now giving his money to the girl who had apparently received a generous tip because she smiled widely and thanked Blaine loudly.

"What was that?" Kurt said as Blaine came closer with their coffees. He gestured to the girl so Blaine would understand.

"That? I gave her a tip," Blaine said, shrugging his shoulders.

"It must have been some tip to generate a smile like that."

"I can't always tip when I come here," Blaine said, blushing slightly, "And I wanted to make it up to her. She always serves fantastic coffee."

Kurt nodded and smiled. He suddenly realised he knew nothing about Blaine: what he did for a living, why he was living in New York, why he couldn't always tip baristas. Blaine sipped his coffee and his eyes twinkled above the steam, like he finally realised he was meeting Kurt for the first time.

"So window friend," Blaine said playfully, "Tell me about yourself."

Kurt didn't know where to begin.

"Well I'm a performer on the stage, at the moment I'm rehearsing an off-Broadway musical called 'Brave'."

"Wow," Blaine breathed, clearly impressed, "That makes my job of struggling singer sound really pathetic."

"Oh is that what you do?" Kurt said, intrigued. "Where do you play?"  
"Anywhere that will have me," Blaine said laughing at himself. "I have a few regular spots but mainly I play at open-mic nights and karaoke bars. I play instruments for friends when they have gigs and they do the same for me, so I can sometimes get a cut of the money for the performance. It's never regular money though. I live month by month, hoping I make rent. This is a lucky month." He smiled, a smile that always seemed to reach his eyes and Kurt was momentarily jealous.

"But tell me about this musical," Blaine said coming closer, his eyes wide and clear. Kurt thought briefly of getting lost in those eyes, noticing the swirls of browns and greens.

"I play a gay character called Edward, who's in love with another guy," he said, enjoying telling someone new. "Patty, my co-star, plays Isabelle who is also in love with the same guy. The musical really discusses 'love' and what it constitutes. The audience hardly see the guy they're in love with, he just flits around the corners of the stage and it's never disclosed whether he is gay or not."

"Does that matter?" Blaine asked and Kurt looked a little surprised so Blaine carried on. "I mean love is love right, it doesn't always need a label."

Kurt smiled that he understood so well.

"That's what the musical discusses. There are no labels though Isabelle defines herself as straight and Edward defines himself as gay. It's all irrelevant. The guy they love is label-less."

Blaine nodded, wondering how to ask what he had already guessed.

"Is that why you auditioned for the role?" Blaine asked instead.

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, I like that it discusses those issues, I like the idea that a musical I invest my time and energy into, deals with sexuality. But I've always identified as 'gay'. You?"

Blaine was taken aback. "Oh yeah, I'm gay."

Blaine sipped his coffee again; a pause in the conversation, so Kurt did the same.

"How long have you lived here?" Kurt asked.

"In that apartment? Just a year," Blaine said. "I rented a room before and shared with others but last year my grandmother died and left me some money. I suddenly could rent on my own and although the money soon ran out, I strive to keep the place. You? I take it you and James just moved into that apartment?"

"Yeah," Kurt said, suddenly sad at the mention of James. Blaine knew too much. "I lived in Bushwick before, with friends. They still live there but James and I have been together for two years now, so it felt right to move in together."

Blaine nodded. He understood the need to settle down, even if he didn't like James.

"What does James do?"

"He sings in a real production on Broadway. It's only been running for a month and he's working hard to make it work. It has to be perfect." Kurt wanted to sing James' praise, needed to show just what a good man he really was and he nearly believed it himself. "He takes the job very seriously, is a consummate performer and is very talented."

"I'd love to see you rehearse," Blaine said and Kurt thought he might have missed the conversation. Hadn't he been talking about James?

"I don't work during the day much," Blaine continued, "I write songs and stuff but my work is at night so I would be free most days. Could I come to watch?"

Blaine had never seen a production rehearsal and although famous patrons or stars that were interested sometimes came to watch them, Kurt wasn't sure if Blaine would be allowed.

"I'll try," Kurt said, "I don't know if I can get you in."

"Thanks," Blaine said, so optimistic and only hearing that Kurt would try his best. "I'd love to see you sing and act. I can just tell you'll be great."

Kurt wasn't sure how to take the comment. Did he think that Kurt acted through the window? Lived a life that was a fundamental lie?

"I hope I live up to expectation," Kurt said blushing slightly under the praise.

"Well I've seen you dance," Blaine said laughing into his coffee. "It's only right I hear you sing." Kurt blushed in embarrassment.

"You shouldn't have seen that," Kurt muttered and Blaine was instantly sad. His brown honey-coloured eyes melted and Kurt wanted to erase what he had said in the hope that he would bring back the happy optimistic smile instead.

"But it was fantastic," Blaine said seriously. "No need to worry Kurt, you saw me twerk!" The tension was suddenly gone and Kurt laughed along with Blaine, remembering how they had laughed across the way. He couldn't remember the last time he had laughed as hard.

"Promise me this," Blaine said with mock solemnity. "Promise me you'll dance for yourself at least once a day." Kurt's face froze in awe. "Dance like there's no tomorrow, dance like no one's watching. It's the most amazing thing to do, I promise."

"I don't get a lot of time to do that," Kurt said quietly, "James would think I'd gone mad."

The thought that Kurt didn't feel he could dance in his own home made Blaine sad but he wasn't letting it dampen his mood.

"Then you should dance tonight," Blaine said happily, as if he was granting wishes. "I'm singing with some friends at an open-mic night. You should come, dance, sing, be merry. It'll be fun."

Blaine's face lit up at the thought and Kurt couldn't disappoint him. He was nervous at the thought of meeting Blaine's friends but Blaine clearly thought nothing of widening his circle of friends to include Kurt and he couldn't say no.

"Sure, that'll be fun."

"Great!" Blaine beamed. "I'll meet you outside your apartment at 8? We're going to make an evening of it."

* * *

The place was heaving when they entered, Tessa, Ruby and Sam somewhere amongst the crowd. When Blaine and Kurt entered and wandered for a while, scanning the throngs of people, Tessa shouted to get their attention and waved them over.

"Hey guys," Blaine said beaming as he stopped in front of their little table. "This is Kurt."

Kurt looked uneasy. It had been a while since he had made new friends that weren't work colleagues and he realised he had relied on Rachel and Santana, his oldest friends, for a little too long. He blushed slightly as Sam took his hand and shook it warmly.

"Nice to meet you," he said, "You're the guy from across the way?"

Kurt was surprised and pointedly looked at Blaine.

"Sorry," Blaine muttered, "I may have mentioned you once."

"When you get to know him, he's not all that creepy. We promise," Tessa said smiling as she stood and offered her open arms to Kurt. He looked like he wanted to escape but didn't know how and so he took her arms and hugged back.

"I'm Ruby." She just nodded and smiled, Kurt relieved that she wasn't going to envelop him in a hug too.

"What are you drinking Kurt?" Sam asked and he bought them drinks as Blaine offered Kurt a seat.

"So what's the plan?" Tessa asked Blaine, "When do we sing?"

"Well Sam said he knows the owner and we pretty much have the floor after everyone has finished," Blaine said looking around. "I don't know how many will want to sing tonight."  
His question was soon answered as someone started off the night and explained that they would be introducing each act. Twenty had signed up.

Kurt let the music wash over him. Many of the acts were good and Blaine, Tessa and Sam drank in the music, making comments to each other about what worked and what did not. Blaine was in his element, his face alight with ideas and admiration for many of the acts. Some were nervous, this clearly their first time performing, others were seasoned amateurs who did the various rounds of open-mic sessions. All in all, it was a creative atmosphere that had Kurt's eyes wide as he roved the room.

"Do you sing Kurt?" Tessa asked and he explained his current role and the rehearsal process. "That's fantastic. I always thought I'd never like the routine of Broadway so I definitely admire anyone that can do it. It takes a lot of discipline and hard work, I bet."

Kurt nodded. "But more than that, I guess," he said. "You have to want it in your veins. It's hard sometimes to get out of bed for something that you don't know will be a success."

"Have you been in productions that weren't successful?" Ruby asked.

"Oh yeah countless times," Kurt said, "But you have to believe in each performance you give. You have to think that in each role, someone might see you, might want to take the production further."

"What about this production? Do you think it might make it?" Tessa asked.

"I think it might actually," Kurt said slowly. "I mean there's always the chance that it might not but with the topic and the screenplay, I think that it just might."

"Is the music good?" Blaine asked.

"Not the best I've sung before," Kurt said, being honest, "But the songs fill the screenplay, they seem right and are choreographed properly. It just needs someone to have a look over it, I guess; tighten up a few melodies."

"Blaine writes songs you know," Tess said and Blaine blushed when Kurt looked at him.

"Oh they're nothing really," Blaine said shrugging his shoulders, "I'm sure they're not Broadway material."

"I'd like to listen to them someday," Kurt said kindly, "I've never been very good with writing music. I have the lyrics but never the song."

"We could write a few together, then," Blaine said smiling widely at the thought. "I mean I always struggle with the lyrics, melodies come easily."

Kurt's phone buzzed in his pocket, which caught his attention and he read the text that appeared.

**To: Kurt [10.02]**

_I've got a scene break, baby. Hoping to be home on time tonight. Can't wait to see that sweet ass of yours xx_

Kurt blushed bright red, the text from James causing him to hide his phone in case his new friends could see the message.

"Are you ok?" Blaine asked, without prying too much.

"Oh yeah, it's just James. Said he'll be home on time tonight."

Blaine thought it an odd comment. Surely James was on time most nights after a performance?

"Aw, so you'll be leaving early?" Blaine looked disappointed, but he understood. Kurt looked around at the faces enjoying the music, Tessa, Ruby and Sam all moving slightly to the beat of the piano and the hum of the crowd. He didn't want to leave early but the thought of how angry James would be when he came home to find an empty apartment didn't really bear thinking about.

"Maybe I'll text James," Kurt said, "See if he minds. Maybe he could join us?"

"Yeah that'll be good," Blaine said, his stomach sinking at the thought but he schooled his face so it didn't show.

**To: James [10.06]**

_Hey baby, I'm out with friends at the moment. We're at an open-mic night if you want to join us? Xx_

**To: Kurt [10.07]**

_Rachel and Santana?_

**To: James [10.08]**

_No, new friends. They're singers and planning on ending the show. I don't want to miss their performance. It's nice here, you'll like it x_

Kurt wasn't sure if that was true. James would probably hate it but he needed to give the impression that he wanted James there, anything so the night didn't have to end.

**To: Kurt [10.10]**

_I don't think so Kurt. I'll be tired after such a stressful week. I'd really like you to be home when I get back._

No kiss, no please. Kurt swallowed painfully, Blaine noticed.

"Everything ok?"

"What? Oh yeah, yeah," Kurt muttered. "Everything's fine." He stretched his face into a smile. As he was thinking, scanning the room at the happy faces and the drinking crowd, Kurt wanted to be them. They all looked so carefree, happily chatting, laughing and singing as if there was no tomorrow. Kurt wanted to stay here, drink in the atmosphere and be loose and free. Going back to the apartment, to wait patiently for his no doubt angry boyfriend, was not something he relished the thought of. He turned to find Ruby looking at him kindly, like she had read his thoughts and he tried another smile so as to appear less glum.

"They're fantastic," she said, indicating Blaine, Tessa and Sam. "It doesn't matter that they're not rich and famous, with record signings or money coming out of their ears. They love it and the music speaks for itself. You'll love it when they perform." She clearly knew the right thing to say and Kurt could only smile and start texting. His fingers were the only part of his body that portrayed his nerves, his jaw set and determined.

**To: James [10.15]**

_I'm gonna stay, hopefully won't be too late but don't wait up. If you want to join us we're at a bar along East 84__th__ Street. Love you xx_

He hoped the invitation and the last two words might lessen the anger, encourage James to join them after all, but Kurt was disappointed when he heard the beep after a minute.

**To: Kurt [10.16]**

_I might go out after all, a few of the lads invited me for drinks. It'll nice to be free for once._

That stung. Kurt knew he was saying it to be mean, to make Kurt think he had plans of his own but it was low. He had already said once this week how Kurt nagged him, made him feel trapped, so the comment about freedom hit Kurt square in the chest. Blaine seemed to sense something was up, kept glancing at Kurt in the hope that he might catch his eye. When Kurt looked up from his phone he didn't even attempt a smile and Blaine knew. There was a lull in performances, a break it seemed and Blaine was struck by an idea.

"Why don't you sing?" Blaine asked Kurt.

Kurt hadn't thought about it, had nothing planned but a quick glance at his phone, a stark reminder of his boyfriend's behaviour gave him the perfect song choice.

"I can't play the piano," Kurt said weakly.

"Give me the song and I can play for you," Blaine said, "It might help."

He didn't say what it would help, but Kurt seemed to know that he already knew. Blaine was good like that and Kurt found himself nodding, telling Blaine the song and smiling when he said he knew it. Blaine ran to put Kurt on the list and as the night drew to an end, Kurt was up just before Blaine, Sam and Tessa were due to go on stage.

"Hi everyone, I'm Kurt," he said into the microphone. The sea of faces looking at him expectantly made him feel nervous, but he thought of James about to his end his Broadway performance and prepare for a night out, and he no longer cared. He took a deep breath as Blaine started to play.

_You said it was doomed from the start _

_But I've got a stockpile of remedies._

_Tied down and left in the dark _

_But I still see what you really need._

_Promise me you'll dry my tears _

_Clear my chest of wounds that heal _

_Please forgive what made us ill._

He could see Tessa and Sam in the crowd, watching his performance, loving his voice but it was Ruby's face he focused on. She was watching carefully, not smiling at his superb voice like the others, just reading all of the meaning, understanding how he was singing away his hurt and pain.

_Say you want me to hear but why you gotta be mean to me _

_And scream you wanna be free from me _

_When you know you are and you are but…_

_Say you love when I'm here but then you go and be mean to me _

_And scream you have to be free from me _

_When you know you are and you are boy._

_Throat coarse burnt by pain of our hearts _

_So I'll save the kiss that was bittersweet._

_Cold smiles for us one final laugh _

_So I'll grasp the echoes of your sympathy._

_Promise me you'll dry my tears _

_Clear my chest of wounds that heal _

_Please forgive what made us ill._

Blaine was ever the consummate professional and played well but just seeing Kurt's straight back, he could see he was struggling with his emotions, singing about so much more than just an argument. He had the sudden urge to hug him close, to protect him from anything mean ever again.

_Say you want me to hear but why you gotta be mean to me _

_And scream you wanna be free from me _

_When you know you are and you are boy._

_Say you love when I'm here but then you go and be mean to me _

_And scream you have to be free from me _

_When you know you are and you are boy._

Kurt finished as Blaine finished, the final notes meeting together. He sighed and applause started but Kurt could only sway as the clapping washed over him. For a second Blaine thought he might fall but Kurt merely bowed and walked off stage. By the time Blaine returned to their little table, Kurt was grabbing his jacket, explaining that he had to rush back to his apartment amidst praise for his performance. Tessa, Sam and Ruby merely looked confused, Tess' mouth almost comically open. He dashed away before Blaine had the chance to say anything but upon regaining his reason, he followed Kurt who had managed to walk a hundred metres down the road before Blaine caught up with him.

"Kurt, Kurt, wait," he said, frantically touching his arm in order to catch him. As Kurt turned, Blaine could see his eyes swimming in pain.

"Oh Kurt…" Blaine whispered, almost afraid to say anything else, knowing what had brought this along their path.

Kurt shook his head, a denial of the pity, a desire to run again but Blaine was insistent.

"He's not worth it," Blaine said, speaking into the cold evening air, almost causing a cloud to form around his mouth.

"I need to get back to the apartment," Kurt said, tugging at his arm to extricate it from Blaine's gentle grip.

"But do you want to?" Blaine asked. Kurt didn't think James would care about that, but he shook his head anyway.

"Then stay, watch us perform." Blaine left the gentle whine in his voice as he pleaded. "Don't let him spoil your fun."

Kurt stayed frozen in time, as if he could avoid making the decision if he just stayed still long enough. He knew he had ruined it anyway; James would be mad whether he came home now or later. He started to walk and Blaine let him lead the way, following quietly behind. When he came back in, no one in Blaine's group said a word about Kurt's abrupt departure and the evening carried on. Blaine, Sam and Tessa were soon up to end the evening and they played and sang, ending the evening on a high. Ruby was right, they loved being up there and their happiness and the sheer joy of music, made Kurt feel lighter. It was gone 2 o'clock when Blaine and Kurt started walking home. It had rained slightly when they had been inside so as they walked Kurt kept his eyes focused on the shiny pavement, the puddles dotted here and there. Blaine talked on about the evening, his favourite performances and what he knew their little group had to work on. He was thrilled that they had been given a small fee each for ending the night so well and the owner had even given them a share of the tips while they sang. As he finished talking he noticed the silence hanging in the air and he turned to find Kurt's downturned gaze.

He stopped.

"Are you ok?" he asked quietly. Kurt had continued to walk; only now noticing he was stationary.

"Sorry, just thinking," he mumbled.

"About James?"

Just hearing the word made Kurt feel guilty. He tried for a smile that seemed to stretch and hurt his face.

"No he'll be fine, I'm sure," Kurt said.

Blaine continued walking, Kurt matching his new stride.

"I'm sorry about what you saw the other day," Kurt whispered after a while, the silence getting too much. "You shouldn't have to see that and James isn't normally like that. He was just hung-over, stressed about work and moving. You know they say that's just as stressful as a heart attack?"

Blaine smiled and nodded, trying to lighten the situation. "You don't have to explain Kurt," he said. "I didn't know you then, I was just a stranger."

"Are we friends now?" Kurt asked quietly, hopefully, causing Blaine to stop again and smile.

"Of course, if you'd like to be?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Kurt said smiling now for real. "Window friends _and_ real life friends. I really should buy curtains though." He laughed but Blaine wondered if he just wanted to hide his relationship away. He let it slide. They reached their apartments, the lights off in Kurt's indicating that no one was home. Kurt felt his stomach sink.

"Do you want me to come up with you?" Blaine asked, the question sounding silly in the quiet night air. Kurt turned to find Blaine's warm brown eyes so close, so kind that he was momentarily speechless. He smiled at the kindness but shook his head.

"No I'll be fine, don't worry," Kurt said, "James will probably be back later."

Blaine wondered, not for the first time, why Kurt stayed with James but he said nothing. Instead he pulled Kurt into a warm hug, causing the air in Kurt's lungs to leave abruptly then he relaxed and sunk into his arms.

"Goodnight Kurt," he said smiling widely. "It was really nice to meet you today, to hear you sing." Blaine's eyes swam with gratitude and Kurt felt himself grow slightly that he was valued so much, by someone that had only just met him.

"Goodnight Blaine thanks for a great night."  
They parted. As Kurt unlocked his door, he felt the coldness creep back in, the apartment bleak and heartless. He changed on the landing so as not to reveal himself to anyone that happened to look through his curtain-less windows. As the light stayed off, he saw Blaine had left his own curtains open and the light of the streetlights revealed his solitary figure in his bedroom. Blaine stood by the window, deliberately leaving his curtains open, but he blew a kiss and waved, indicating goodnight and Kurt smiled, knowing that Blaine was there to watch over him, while his boyfriend played the night away.

* * *

**A/N**: I won't be able to update for two weeks as I'm away next weekend, thanks for reading.

I stole the line that features in the play 'sometimes a shadow wins' from the song 'Brave' by Sara Bareilles.

**Song quoted**:

'Mean To Me' by Delilah


End file.
